Sitting in my grandma’s car, driving out of the school parking lot the other day, I noticed this couple walking hand in hand. Gorgeous girl, very attractive boy. And then the guy’s friend was walking next to him, not holding anyone’s hand. But instead, that alone-boy we holding his phone in between himself and his friend. It was also interesting how the two boys’ strides...
Facebook conversations, just like everything else
Tiff.: hahah do you agree that i'm shallow? or picky, at least. it's okay; everybody is on some level
J.Shaver: ahah the best part about humanity is when we have a "flaw" in our lives
we ALWAYS search for a means by which to justify it
Tiff.: so what we don't like about others is what we secretly don't like about ourselves
but what about the things that people don't like in others because they aren't like themselves?
in which case, everybody would just hate everything about everybody else
we'll be robots : |]
J.Shaver: hahahha ohh man did you go off
essentially, yes, that is the fine point of where we get our dislikes from
it's the whole idea that we point out the flaws of others
Tiff.: but heureusement, things only every apply part of the time
J.Shaver: that we dislike within ourseles, because it justifies our flaws, since we can see them in someone else
this isn't for everything, but it's a large majority of the time
sure, there are somethings in people, that we downright DO NOT LIKE, and that is normal
Tiff.: well first off, i don't like being too tan
i love moisturized skin and dry skin just bugs me
i like heart-shaped faces a lot, especially for girls. so luckily i think my face is somewhat heartish
J.Shaver: ihave never seen a face i would classify as heart shaped
Tiff.: not too much that it would be like "hey i can make my valentines day cards with your head as a stencil"
Tiff.: but just enough. round, but pointy at the chin
J.Shaver: haha i have no idea what you're talking about; i really don't look at head shapes
Tiff.: look at Reese Witherspoon
except the side of her face is a little too square for my taste
you see, i really hope i get over my pickiness someday, or find somebody who is incredibly gorgeous
but i'm sure i'll just settle for an amazing personality that makes up for some of the flaws. and of course those flaws would have to be only minor, because otherwise i am quite certain there would be no sexual attraction whatsoever. and i'm not just saying that; it's all pure experience. although i'm sure i'll have so many more experiences later on, but as of now, looks are so important
isn't it funny, my friend's spanish teacher (she's in college) asked the students what they find attractive in a boyfriend/girlfriend. the younger people talked a lot about looks. the older ones talk more about personality and not so much looks
do we start settling as we get older?
i would think that standards should rise as you get older, because you see prettier and prettier people and so the people you meet in your future will have to compete against the prettier people of your past
but maybe as you get older you realize the insignificance of it all, and personality really is more important, because, of course, looks fade
eyes and smiles stay essentially the same though, but the way they look are different, because they will get diluted by the past and all those anchors from it
that's why childrens' smiles are so pure and gorgeous; they have no past memories to interfere and dilute whatever just made them happy in that moment
we should all try to live in the moment more, because then our smiles would be brighter and our eyes would shine a bit more
isn't it weird that people say my smile is always the same?
it's because i practice it. but it's believable every time, unless i'm truly, deeply unhappy
because then my eyes show it. goddamn traitors.
but anyways, this has been really really incredibly long and must be excruciating to read, because it was excruciating to type; my fingertips hurt from playing guitar. i just started on sunday. alex erlich told me that it would be better once the callouses develop, so i'm still waiting for that. but as of now, they're somewhere between numb and painful when i touch something
are you still here J---?
J.Shaver: yes i am. i'm waiting for you to finish
Tiff.: yeah sorry about that hahah
J.Shaver: haha no it's all very fascinating
you bring up an interesting point though. and i think that is why i do not find you altogether shallow. you say that as we get older, we seem to "settle" as we determine personality is more important that looks, or at least can compensate for it. that is a fascinating idea, and it's definitely something to consider. and for that i do not consider you 100% shallow. i think you have your shallow aspects to you, and your shallow instances. but you altogether are not shallow. because of that idea that we seem to settle for less. you have an ideal of what you like in a person. you have high standards. and there's nothing wrong with that. does it suck sometimes? of course. is it annoying? for sure. but it's something everyone learns to cope with. it makes you not shallow because you have a standard, and you hold yourself to that standard.
you're not a fickle bitch like some people who change because it is demanded of them, or because it benefits them. you stick to what you like and want, because you understand that anything less won't always be as fulfilling.
now as for my personal beliefs, i've always had a thing for personalities. like yes looks matter to me. but as far as i feel, a personality makes someone sooo much more attractive. i've dated and hooked up with girls i'd never imagined i'd be with because i took the time to notice the little things in them. and in my eyes, as i learn someones personality, learn who they are, what they're about, and what they do
it in a way is a natural form of beauty. it literally makes someone appear even more attractive in my eyes. not figuratively. like realistically, in physical appearance, they become hotter
and i think that's absolutely amazing. it's the brain and heart working together. because sure, everyone likes the feeling of being liked by someone. but the brain registers a person as hot, and then you learn about them, and the heart begins a form of override on the brain. at least in my experience it does. where it makes the brain believe that the person is physically more attractive
ahah that sounded kinda gay but whatever
and the whole idea of smiles and eyes. well that's really one of the most interesting things you brought up.
is how a child's smile is so adorable, and so entrancing
it seems highly likely that it's because they are so pure and innoence. they have had nothing to corrupt them. i would buy that in a minute, because i despise my smile. and now i feel i can use that logic to say that it's because of my past experiences, especially with my family
it's hardened my features, and made me a more outwardly hostile person. i don't intend for it, but it's a type of mask that i've been given.
because we all have masks. we have one for every aspect of our life. we go to school and we have a mask of how we act in a classroom. we act and appear according to the social norms of how a student is supposed to. if you ever want to see the most dramatic transformation in a person, look at the people in your class immediately following the ring of the lunch bell. they instantaneously change from one person to another, because they have roles they are expected to fulfill. it's impossible for one person to be the same throughout. we act differently with adults than we do our peers, we act differently with our parents than we do our peers
we act differently with peers than we do parents and adults. we act differently between groups of peers. we act differently between groups of adults.
it's amazing how so many people are so hostile at people who are "two faced" when in fact everyone has probably close to 8 different masks and faces they possess.
and they interchange them frequently, without anyone asking, because it's what is expected and what is appropriate
we already are soo robotic. think about it
we do the SAME routine, day after day
a regular home routine
repeat the next day. even weekends we have a tendency to follow a pattern.
idk....haha i know i jumped all over the place; i have a tendency to do that
i'm a bit scatter brained lol. it happens.
but as far as the whole we settle as we get older.........well that's an interesting point
i would say that we don't exactly settle, but seeing as people generally do not get hotter as they get older, we begin to search for things that can compensate for their looks, so personality or character traits are the next logical step
it's called a depreciating value in business/economic terms. something can go up to a certain point, but once it reaches the tipping point, it can no longer go any further than that. and what goes up must come down
Tiff.: this was amazing, jake :)
and i have nothing left to say at the moment because i am making tea
and not only does everything make sense, especially your two-faced thing, i agree with it all and it's incredibly well-written
J.Shaver: it works the same for beauty. i mean like girls and guys only get sooo attractive. and then yes it's a fact that as they get older, their ohysical appearance changes and tehy begin that downward decline from their peak of beauty
it's that tipping point and beauty is a depreciating value because it hits a certain point, then slopes back down
so people turn to compensate for what they see they are losing, and character traits and personalities are hard to exactly lose in value. mainly because they are a sort of ingrained thing that is hard to change. and because people don't want to change them. not everybody wants to change their personality, even tho it is definitely changeable
it's harder to change personalities BECAUSE of the fact that we have control over it. when we can control something, we make it to our liking and then we don't want to change it because we made it how it is. we by all means have the power to change it, but it's like painting a beautiful picture; you can by all means change it, but since you created it and constructed it yourself, you see no reason to change it because it's something you like and made yourself
beauty, is something we have no control over, and because of that, we have a hard time in dealing with the fact that we have no control over it and it eventually changes to what we don't like
A letter to you, about incredibly trivial subjects...
Dear Allie, I’ve neglected to tell you some things that have happened between yesterday night at 7pm till now. First off, you should know that there is this smoothie place right next to my school, called Robeks. Their smoothies are pretty decent, not as icy as Jamba Juice, and not as yogurty as Juice It Up. Recently they have been hiring very studly guys. Like today, I saw one of the...
Jonathan: I go :(:( Big kisssss for you
Me: bonne nuit et vous pouvez faire cela demain! (good night and you can do that tomorrow!)
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Thoughts, Rants, and Wonderings
A few hours ago on formspring, C.Vu asked me to tell her something about my life. So instead of telling her about my life (since we see each other every day, there’s not much left to tell) I told her about my thoughts. You know that book, Paper Towns, by John Greene? There’s a character in it who believes in random capitalization because she thinks the rules of capitalization are...
Sipping tea from an over-sized mug and eating...
This is my Sunday night, drenched in the procrastinated efforts of this whole week piled into one night. Just kidding. It’s Monday now. How lovely.
3 S’s: smart, sensitive, sexy? Or smart, sane, sexy?– Allie